What Do You Mean It's Not Water Proof?!

Let me start off this post by taking a moment to say that just because I work in the death industry, does not make experiencing a personal death any less hard or tragic. Today my bosses Jim and Jack lost their mother, and even though I never had the chance to meet her personally, my heart is still heavy.

By working in a funeral home, you become family with everyone you work with, just because you see them literally every single day. So when someone goes through a personal tragedy, it effects us all....needless to say, the next few days, weeks,...hell even months, will be hard on us all.


Now to transition from that, to what I did today. After getting back to The Home from working a funeral with Michelle, I was told that I needed to take the remains of Mrs. S to the M.E. and to take Steve with me since he hasn't done this before. Mrs. S was the house call that Kevin and I did, where we found out after the fact that she had fractured her hip 6 months prior.

So Steve and I go to the M.E. and it goes smoothly, and we come back. I am pushing Mrs. S up to the prep room to transfer her back to a table, when David says, "Good, You're back, and you'll be going back to the M.E."

I pause a moment and ask, "Why? I hope I didn't forget anything,...I mean I have Mrs. S right here..." David said, "No...we have a removal from the M.E."
"Oh, can I take Steve with me again? He hasn't done a removal from the M.E. before"
"Sure, just hurry back"

Back to the M.E we went! This time I made sure that I had my apprenticeship license on me so I could sign off on the paperwork. As I have mentioned in previous posts, whenever we go to the M.E. to do a removal we make sure that we always have a Batesville casket liner so we can transfer the body bag onto the gurney. The transfer went as well as could be expected. I signed off on paperwork and we transferred the body onto the gurney, the body was fairly large, but nothing extremely huge. What was large though, was the sack of clothing and amount of money this individual had on them prior to death. Thankfully we got an inventory sheet and were able to head back to The Home.

Once we got back, I made sure to give Dani the small bag of valued goods so that it could be documented and locked away, she then asked who was going to help David with the embalming.

Embalming you say? I eagerly raised my hand, stating that I would love to do this so I could document my first autopsy embalming...plus Steve and Caleb both wanted to go home since they were not on call tonight or this weekend.

Changing into my scrubs I put on the 'Smurf Suit' which looks like this:

The only exception being that I don't wear the face shield since I wear glasses and we are not required to wear a hair net....and also the casket is never in the embalming room...(This photo was taken from Google).

The body was fully opened and the breast plate was taken off so we could get to the bag of organs to treat them. When embalming a body that has been autopsied, we have a special pot, or kettle, that we use to put them in. First we place a red hazardous materials bag inside the kettle, then we place the organ bag. After opening the organ bag we dumped two bottles of chemicals that would help preserve the organs, once done we replace the lid and proceed on with the embalming.

Really wish I could have taken some pictures on what I was doing because the human anatomy is really interesting! With everything removed you can see the spinal column and all the layers of fat, muscle, and skin. Since the body cavity is wide open, it makes finding the arteries for embalming (supposedly) a lot easier. Thankfully I didn't have to find them, instead David went digging (literally) around in search of them. The femoral artery, found in the legs near the groin, were fairly easy to find, but the axillary artery found in the arms near the armpit were very difficult.

While David was running the embalming fluid through the body, I had to take the special autopsy aspirator and suck up all the fluids that were pouring inside of the body cavity. Once we were done running the lines down the legs and down the arms, we had to run the line up the axillary so it would go into the face and head. Now let me remind you that during an autopsy, the skull is opened so the brain can be examined, meaning the head is now just a gaping hole. When we run the line up into the head, there is a place (and forgive me, but I can not remember what it's called) that we must pinch to prevent us getting sprayed with embalming fluid.

Once that was all done, and all the extra liquids were soaked up, I got to stuff the neck hole and work on setting the features...it was really weird to see into the mouth and not see a tongue! This time placing the eye caps proved to be really difficult because the eyeballs were basically caving in. So we finished setting the features and I was (of course) given the task of removing the organs from the kettle and layering them inside the body....joy.

In order to create our 'Satan's lasagna' ...as I so affectionately named it, we first must start off with a layer of Viserac, a powdery substance that looks like saw dust but contains formaldehyde. After a layer has been spread inside the body cavity I then began the disgusting task of bobbing for organs. I took a few deep breaths, and then a few more; psyching myself up for the disgusting adventure that I was currently embarking on.

Reaching inside the bag I began to hum loudly to myself, a tactic that I use to distract myself from something either very painful, or now, very disgusting.  And I must say, it kinda worked. I grabbed a hold of a slippery mass, of what I really can't say because everything was dissected from the autopsy, and then placed it inside the body cavity. When it was layered inside I sprinkled in more Viserac, and then added in more guts. I was up to my elbow in blood and guts, and beginning to worry that there wouldn't be enough room in the cavity for everything. I asked David if the gowns were water proof because I was beginning to feel some wetness creeping up on my forearm...the answer David gave me was less than satisfactory... "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT WATER PROOF?!" seriously!!! Out of everything that should be water proof...or at least resistant, you'd think that our embalming gown would be!

Now that Satan's lasagna was finished, I was now able to suture up the body. I got to about the navel before David kicked me off of the struggle bus and took over finishing the body. If I ever felt like a failure...it was here. Where as I was struggling just to pierce the skin with the needle, David made it look effortless.

While he was finishing up suturing the body, I began to give everything a thorough cleaning and spray down with bleach. Did you know that when blood is sprayed with bleach it turns a horrible brownish green color? Once we were done (shortly before 6), we both got out of our Smurf outfits so we could change back into our work clothes.

I should say that I was not surprised, but I was, and thoroughly disgusted. After taking off my blue smock, I could see that my right forearm was covered in blood. Oh joy. Oh rapture, Oh happy day!
Needless to say, I gave my hands and forearms a deep clean and took a nice hot shower once I got back to my dorm.

So that is my story for the day. Tragic and bloody. More about the events of the funeral for Mary and the cause of death on Mr. Bloody in the days to come.

Until next time.